Notes from Kristi....

Mom and sisters! Kristi top left.

Date: Saturday, January 31, 2009, 4:05 AM

hi everyone, I just wanted to send out a simple email to say, i am still kicking....lol.....I was down really sick from my first chemo treatment, and then had to have another one this past Tuesday. When i say really sick, i was very very sick, i really thought i was dying inside,......for real ( well, that is what they told me they were gonna do,.)"kill me, with out , really killing me" wow, they weren't kidding, i was down for about 8 days, couldn't do simple things.... like type or read, or talk....i was so so weak, and the pain in my body and muscles was unbelievable, i can't even explain what it felt like.. so I'm not gonna try, but the good thing is, i am ok today....

I will take it....i have a break this coming week, which means i skip one week of chemo. If they did what they did for my first chemo 3 times straight in a row, ( 3 tues in row) i would die.... so..THANK YOU JESUS........ my body can have a break.I did have chemo twice now, but this past tues. was half the meds.... and chemo... but i was still so sick, that it was one of the worst chemo's i have ever had, it took everything in me not to get out of there....but God finished it up, and after 4 hrs of poison going into my body and still feeling like i was gonna throw up everywhere, not to mention i had a really bad migraine...i made it, so long story short, lol, i completed the first cycle, (i have to have 2 cycles, which means 4 times going to get chemo)I will be starting over again, with the whole process again, day 1 of chemo, is when they give me 5 hrs of chemo. and they send me home with so many pills. In 4 days i have to take like 60 pills.. ( oh, did i mention i hate taking even Tylenol )...really, it's crazy.

I will be very sick again, i think i have 11 days to go, and counting down, but God is good, Jason's mom will be arriving to help take care of the kids so Jason can go to work.... He used all his vacation, poor guy, we had to use it last year for cancer, and the 2 yrs before that for the birth of kristalynn and holden... so whats a vacation anyways????? Jason took really good care of me those 8 days, so i thank the Lord for that time he got to care for me and the kids, cause i couldn't do anything, it even hurt to smile, and you all know i love to laugh and smile.....ok enough about my hair started falling out last night , yes again, so you will all have to bare with me....on the whole scarf, wig ,balled thing........you can pray for me for peace and confidence in the Lord, with how my appearance is gonna be, i am starting to struggle with pictures of me this past summer time fun in the sun and the 30 pounds i lost after the first cancer in April 08, and how i felt healthy and so happy. and free........and now realizing i have gained wt from chemo and stress , and now my hair is falling out again.

I just pray God will take that pain/ emotions away from me completely, so I can concentrate on living and being healthy with my family for many years to come big or small, balled or not....

Thank you so much for caring about my family and myself, and for reading this long winded, poor wrote email..... i thank you for your constant prayers....God is doing good threw this cancer, the Lord has provided different people ,taking on different roles, from food, to support, to coming and helping me with the kids these past few days, threw the prayer wheel, to hair cuts for my family, to having a person who wants to go with me to Cleveland for 3 wks to be my caregiver...... it's unbelievable ... God's' favor started being very clear 2 days ago, and to that we are very very thankful...we are blessed,

the pfaff family